As promised, this post will deal with alienating colleagues. Not, I must stress, something that I aim to do but may happen as a consequence of my unwillingness to attend any and all events associated with work-
Once, during an internship at InStyle, I found myself walking behind one of the other interns from the tube station to the office. Instead of catching up with her and having a casual chat for 3-4 minutes or, and this is better than what I actually did, hanging back until there was a reasonable distance between us so as to avoid bumping into each other at the lifts; I continued to walk at a steady pace behind her but made no move to either catch up or slow down. And this was someone I was actually getting along with. (I realise this makes me seem completely mental.)
Another time, I wore an impossibly impractical pair of shows to a work experience placement only to be hobbling before I'd even got to the office. I had to make an emergency call to the Junior Editor to explain the situation, go to L.K. Bennett* to buy a new pair of shoes [!!!] before turning up more than 30minutes late, being screamed at by the Fashion Editor and promptly sent home. (Needless to say, for the purposes of avoiding repercussions even almost 6 years later the magazine shall rename nameless..)
I was interning at a well known men's publication in a private office with the Style Editor and the Associate Editor. I know what you're thinking, great opportunity to make an impression and make some contacts- just wait. I'd been asked to work on one of the magazine's biggest yearly features and was waiting to speak with the AE about it. Little did I know, I would be waiting a while as the AE was taking their daily nap in the adjoining office- locking the door and crawling under the desk while the inhabitants were out on lunch. (I know. Honestly, too good for me to make up)
Finally, while working a 6 month placement at a well known international publication I managed to incur the wrath of the Deputy Editor. During a particularly busy period I felt like I was being pulled in a million different directions, so when, whilst juggling a phone call with an irate PR and packing up an urgent return, the DE came into the cupboard and asked if we had an tissue paper to wrap a present I turned around in my chair to check we had some in, handed her 2 pieces and continued with my conversation. It was only when I was taken into a meeting with the Senior Fashion Editor a few hours later that I "realised" my crime. I was expected to stand up when she came in, and to put the phone down so she could have my undivided attention. DE commented that I was usually so polite, so she couldn't understand my rudeness. The conversation concluded with SFE telling me I should make sure I behave appropriately when in her Holiness' company. (Ok, she didn't refer to her as "her Holiness", that was just me.)
So what lessons have we learned from these stories?
1) Plan your route to work to avoid potential conversations
2) Always wear sensible shoes
3) Don't interrupt nap time- it's important for their cognitive development
4) Remember to stand up, bow and only speak when spoken to in the presence of Editors
Rules to live by!
*Nothing against L.K. Bennett, but they were SO expensive
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